Going through heartbreak can feel like being underwater when you need to breathe. We build our lives with someone we trust and care for, and then, in the blink of an eye, it’s all gone. This can leave people with sorrow, anger, and some serious questions — about ourselves and the future.

A broken heart, we have all been there. But when it happens… surely no one has ever felt this much pain as you do right now, right? Friends and family, they try to comfort you, but in the end, there’s still you.

One of the attributes while dealing with this grief is called shame. No matter how many times you tell yourself it’s not true, a desperate sense of ugliness and undesirability arises. Another quality is (insane) moodiness. You just don’t know when the waves of grief and humiliation will re-arise. I remember once I burst into tears in the supermarket around the corner of our house because it made me remember his fondness of the guys behind the counter. I was standing there minding my own business when suddenly I heard the guys laughing and then before I knew it the veggie area destroyed my equanimity.

With this openness, you see that your life is telling a story. Your life has a cycle of its own and the violence of heartbreak has the power to shatter all illusions about who you thought you were and reintroduce you instead of who you already know you are. This is an extremely powerful situation. With a broken heart, you see how vast your longing for love is and how impossible it is to make love safe. So what do you do with these two truths? This is your path. No one can tell you how to reconcile them. But a place to begin is by paying attention, by cultivating agenda-less awareness of yourself, others, and of the flow of life. When you do so, you start to notice that every single day, you are continuously cycling in and out of moments of falling in love and having your heart broken. Both are always present, shifting toward you and away, each one a tiny lesson on how to be fully alive.

The heart speaks in a language that is different from that of the mind. Today’s society considers the language of the mind to be logical ideas. When you consider it from a spiritual perspective, the language of the heart to be pictures, emotions, flow, and faith. Heart healing can only occur on the level of the heart, not merely in the mind. To heal the heart we must use the language of the heart. With a sense of clarity in your mind and stability in your heart, the setting becomes something altogether different. With mental clarity and emotional stability comes the ability to see your entire life as a path. You have created the foundation for an entirely authentic life, one full of joy and sorrow, meetings and partings, giving and taking, and deep meaning. The dark power of heartbreak has led you there.

“Healing doesn’t mean the pain never existed. It means the pain no longer controls our lives.” Unknown

JoyLightLove,

Natasja