Life, as most of us have come to understand, doesn’t always go according to plan. People tell you to dream big. People tell you to have attainable goals. Society tells you what is right or wrong. We are taught as children to build strong, confident egos. Capable of handling the roughness of the world so we can bounce back with a tenacity to try even harder.
We are so focused on the outside strength, that we can get so lost in our pursuit of happiness that when we are unhappy we seek outside influences to temporarily distract us from what is truly preventing us from being happy in the first place. In general, we seek out fleeting, carefree, satisfaction in lovers, drugs, exercise, food, restriction, pain, but once the unsustainable joy leaves us, we’re left with the emotional scars of what those activities brought into our lives.
There was a period of time in my life when every night out seemed to end at 4 a.m. no matter what. It wasn’t seen as being a big deal either. Like, duh, of course, I am not going to go home till the bars close. Is there an alternative? Also, I had endless amounts of energy. I was never tired and even if I was, I could always find a way to power through it. Now, when I think of those nights, I immediately get flashbacks of a hangover and think, “How did I do that? Here, another fun blog post for you From Clubbing to Chakra’s
Getting sober from that lifestyle was actually the easy part, it’s when you are years into the sobriety and having a constant self-reflection, without those past outside influences is when you are invited to see which alternative escapes have crept in. Only then are you ready for the next stage of transformation.
In recent years I have also become aware that spirituality can easily be an escape too. In fact, it often is. And yet, when I tell myself that is wrong, and take it as true, that too is a false belief. There is nothing wrong with escapes. It is a stepping stone. An expression of human life. A safety when no other option is open to us. (Because other options are not familiar to us, or do not appear to us because of our limiting beliefs.) It is one of the ways the universe or life is exploring itself. A part of the terrain we humans can explore and become familiar with. I see it as an invitation for others to notice and inquire into their beliefs about escapes. And it can be an invitation for us all to take a closer look at what is really going on behind those actions.
Now, my idea of going out these days is getting a group of friends together, going on a boat ride through the Amsterdam canals, then grabbing a pizza. I still go to concerts, I just don’t need to stay out until 4 a.m. I go for coffee dates and have cake instead of a cocktail every other night. And from time to time I enjoy a good G&T in the late afternoon or some bubbles, and yes, I still get tipsy and sing along with Rihanna and have a dress-up party.
Life is a Party once you realise It is
So, whatever your ‘escape’ is today, see it as it presents itself…. I have decided that my container is so big that I can do all that I feel drawn to doing for whatever reason, but with true conviction that it’s for my highest good and all involved. That the actions I take, whatever that might be, being the most loving thing I can do at that moment for my mind, body, and heart. Only then do I release me of judgment, guilt, and shame, but most of all justification to me or anybody.
Some may use spirituality, psychedelics or yoga as an escape. But for others, getting ‘one more round and a vodka to go…’ may be exactly what they are ready for and need to experience. There is no right or better or more enlightened action, all are expressions of Life and all serve for your growth and understanding. If I wouldn’t have allowed myself to have all the ‘escapism’ I wouldn’t be the person I am today, for sure!
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